Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize