do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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