Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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