I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
