But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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