last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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