You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
