my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
