Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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