All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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