you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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