I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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