He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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