I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
