u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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