He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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