what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
