I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
