He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize