mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
