Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
