mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
