R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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