Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
