The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
