So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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