I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize