So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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