Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
it's great music for shaving your balls
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
