i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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