i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
