Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
