she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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