Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
