So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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