It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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