He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
