Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
