please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
