he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
