You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
