How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize