But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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