You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
