tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
