Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
