shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
