Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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