He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
