So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
