it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
