What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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