I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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