Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
