3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
