Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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