I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize