Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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