I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
