Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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