I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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