Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like a drive thru vagina
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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