Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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