the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I pour the whiskey from now on
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize