Old men and throwing up are my life now.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Everyone says I win the strip club
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
