Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
