He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
