R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
