i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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