Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
