that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
