There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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